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Chapters

Were you aware of the moment your life started entering a new chapter? Or are these moments always a product of hindsight? As another year comes to a close I have felt something stirring inside. Something akin to the turning of a new page, the start of a new chapter. One built on the dark words that stain the bright pages of the past that now lead into the story that is about to unfold. To give continuity to this cliche of a life I have lead, this change starts with what else, but a story about a girl. Who she is, is less important than what she represents. She is that leading sentence at the end of a passage that welcomes you into the next act. Desire is like a ninja. It always hits you when you least expect it and it overwhelms before you can truly come to grips with it. It took this girl(almost ten years my junior) to finally wake me up. No, not from that all too common tunnel vision that is created when the heart finds the object of its affection. It is an awakening from t

Being practical or living the dream


For as long as I can remember, I've been stuck in between two seemingly diametrically opposed worlds. The first one, the world I was born into, is of the working class in 20th century U.S. and the second one, the one that was born in me, the apparent need to write and move.

I am part of the lower classes within today's society. I have no university degree to speak of and no vocational/technical skills to rely on. What a loser, am I right? I think I just realized why I'm still single... But I digress.
So what options does someone like me have? I have no savings to speak of or investments because I live paycheck to paycheck. My parents have no money, stocks or property to pass on to me. If I had some of those options, maybe I could take a stab at going back to school and get a degree but I don't, and school costs money too(more and more as time goes on).
Fortunately, I am still young enough not to be discriminated by age and strong enough to handle manual labor. So, I could do that, right? Well, I have and although I had no problems learning and executing my two year stint as an electrician's helper, I took no joy in it. I've worked in restaurants as almost every position available both front and back house. I've done office work... and hated it. Retail, of course. I even had a brief go as a hipster cafe worker in Silver Lake, CA.

Every one of these helped pay bills but none satisfied my soul... what a middle class idea, right? It is a luxury I can't afford, right?

Something inside me, I don't know what, makes me naturally restless. I am a curious person. I love to learn even though I was a failure in school. I am passionate about books. To be more specific, I love story telling, whether it is a book, a film, a scientific explanation of natural phenomena or a work of art. If I am not writing or learning about something, I become very unsettled. It almost seems like a necessity.

The same goes for moving. My body, that is. I may have never boasted the body of an athlete but I have been active all my life. Whether it was martial arts, dance, sport or a combination of these, I have kept myself in constant flow and it doesn't seem to
diminish as I get older. I may have periods of time where I stop for one reason or another(usually work), I always find myself looking for another method of movement. At the moment I am getting more and more invested in Jiu-jitsu.

All my life, I've assumed that my passions and my circumstances have been at odds. Is it possible that there may be a symbiotic relationship I never saw before? Well, I'm going to take the plunge while I'm still young(dumb) enough to try. Let's see if I can make a living out of my passions. I will continue writing. I will continue moving.

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